Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card

A birthday comes just once a year. It’s a perfect time to show how much we truly love having that special person in our lives. Cake, candle, and celebrations are all ways to show our care for that person. A little humor goes a long way in making someone’s birthday extra special. Whether you’re roasting your dad or teasing your partner, the key is to keep it light, personal, and full of love.

Birthdays are the perfect time to make someone laugh with a cheeky message. Whether you're writing for a parent, bestie, or bae, we’ve got many options for funny things to write in birthday cards that’ll bring out the giggles.

Funny Birthday Card Messages

Not sure how to be both funny and charming? These classic birthday card messages strike the perfect balance of humor and heart.

1. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
2. You’re not getting older, just more… experienced.
3. Another year closer to becoming a crazy cat person.
4. Don’t worry, wrinkles are just smile lines in disguise.
5. Age is just a number… in your case, a really big one.
6. Happy birthday! Let’s pretend we’re still in our twenties.
7. You’re still hot, just not in a climate-change kind of way.
8. Old enough to know better, young enough to do it anyway.
9. At your age, candles cost more than the cake.
10. Congrats! You’ve leveled up in the game of life.

Funny Birthday Card Ideas

Looking for creative ways to get a laugh? These funny birthday card ideas are quirky and unexpected.

1. Insert money here → [ ] (Just kidding.)
2. Inside: A mirror. Caption: “Your worst nightmare.”
3. Front: “You're one in a million.” Inside: “So are bacteria.”
4. Birthday checklist: Cake? ✔ Balloons? ✔ Dignity? ❌
5. I was going to give you something amazing, but then I remembered you already have me.
6. Another trip around the sun… without crashing. Congrats!
7. This card contains zero calories. You’re welcome.
8. If you were any older, you’d be vintage.
9. Happy Birthday! Don’t forget to lie about your age.
10. Here's to laughing at our own jokes and keeping each other young.

A class clown running out of words? This might help: What are some Funny Things to say to make People Laugh?

Funny Birthday Wishes for Cards

Don’t know what to write on a birthday card that is actually funny? Turn your birthday card into a giggle-fest with these funny wishes that work for just about anyone.

1. Here’s to another year of laughing at your own jokes.
2. Happy Birthday! I hope you get lots of gifts you pretend to like.
3. May your day be filled with overpriced lattes and underwhelming gifts.
4. Forget the past, you can’t change it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
5. Happy birthday! You're not special… this happens every year.
6. Celebrate like you’re still young. Nap like you’re not.
7. You deserve the best today… and every day after, when I’m not around.
8. Aging gracefully is for other people. You do you.
9. May your Facebook wall be filled with people you barely know.
10. Don't grow up. It's a trap.

Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card for Mom

Make your mom smile with these light-hearted and loving messages, perfect for her on her special day.

1. Thanks for the genes that gave me this fabulousness.
2. You gave me life. And now I give you wrinkles.
3. You’re the best mom ever… especially compared to other moms.
4. Mom, you’re aging like fine wine, boxed and affordable.
5. You're the reason I turned out awesome. Happy Birthday!
6. Another year wiser… or at least pretending to be.
7. Let’s blame the gray hairs on your kids.
8. You deserve a break from motherhood… just not from me.
9. If I had a dollar for every time you said, “Because I said so”… I’d get you a real gift.
10. World's Best Mom... even if your Wi-Fi skills are questionable.

Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card for Dad

These dad-approved jokes will definitely earn you a groan, a chuckle, or both.

1. You’re not old,  you’re “classic.” Like a flip phone.
2. Happy birthday to the man who taught me everything... except how to age gracefully.
3. Dad, you're the reason I know all the bad jokes.
4. Cheers to your best dad jokes and worst dance moves.
5. Another year, another “back in my day” story.
6. You’re officially older than your favorite pair of socks.
7. Don't worry, your secret stash of candy is safe with me.
8. If wisdom comes with age, you're basically Yoda now.
9. Here's to pretending you’re not napping during Netflix.
10. Happy Birthday, Dad! You make old look cool(ish).

Read our post on Funny Things Dads Taught Their Daughters and share the one that reminds you of your own dad.

Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card for Boyfriend

Struggling to find the right words? Try giving your boyfriend something funny to laugh at besides your Netflix password habits.

1. You stole my heart… now take the dishes too.
2. Happy Birthday! I love you even when you're annoying.
3. I was going to get you something hot, but I remembered I already did, Me.
4. Congrats! You’ve upgraded from man-child to man-man.
5. You're aging like your favorite sneakers, worn out but comfy.
6. You light up my life… and kill my phone battery.
7. Happy birthday to my favorite headache.
8. Let's grow old together, but not too quickly.
9. You + me = 2 weirdos in love.
10. You’re lucky you’re cute. That’s all I’m saying.

New to a relationship, don’t worry, we've got you. Read our post on 50+ Funny Things To Say In An Awkward Silence To Make People Laugh and start fresh.

Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card for Girlfriend

Sweet, sassy, and slightly sarcastic, here we have a perfect birthday card mix for your girlfriend that you seriously can’t mess up

1. Happy Birthday! You make my heart (and wallet) go boom.
2. You’re aging like fine wine… expensive and high-maintenance.
3. You’re the queen of my heart, and birthday demands.
4. Thanks for pretending to laugh at my jokes.
5. You still make me smile, and roll my eyes.
6. You’ve got the beauty, brains, and birthday list of a diva.
7. Happy Birthday! Let’s party like it's your Amazon wishlist.
8. Here's to love, laughter, and tolerating each other forever.
9. You’re my favorite notification.
10. I’d share my fries with you,  that’s real love.

Funny Things to Write in a Birthday Card for Best Friend

Friendship goes a long way. Your bestie deserves the funniest messages, the inside jokes, and all the sarcasm.

1. Happy Birthday to someone who knows all my secrets and still sticks around.
2. You’re not just a year older, you're a year sassier.
3. Friends don’t let friends age alone, so here I am.
4. We go together like cake and regret.
5. Besties forever, until one of us forgets the other’s birthday.
6. You're the peanut butter to my emotional breakdowns.
7. If we were in a movie, you'd be the comic relief.
8. Happy birthday! Let’s make bad decisions together… again.
9. You’re the human version of a birthday confetti explosion.
10. Our friendship is like this card, full of nonsense and glitter.

Read our post on Funny Things to Say in a Group Chat With Friends and keep your group chats fun and lively

Short Funny Birthday Wishes

Need to keep it quick and quirky? These one-liners deliver maximum laughs with minimal words, filled with love and perfect for your stories.

1. You’re not old, just well-seasoned.
2. Cake calories don’t count today.
3. Don’t worry, I forgot your age too.
4. Getting older sucks, but you don’t!
5. Another year, another gray hair.
6. You age like a meme, timeless.
7. Let’s lie about your age, deal?
8. Welcome to the “forever 29” club.
9. Cake now. Adulting later.
10. Birthdays: Proof we survived another year.

Drop your favorite funny birthday line in the comments and tag someone who needs a laugh today

FAQs

What to write a happy birthday card funny?

1. Happy Birthday! I hope you get lots of gifts you pretend to like.
2. May your day be filled with overpriced lattes and underwhelming gifts.
3. Forget the past, you can’t change it. Forget the present, I didn’t get you one.
4. Happy birthday! You're not special… this happens every year.
5. Celebrate like you’re still young. Nap like you’re not.

How do you say happy birthday in a fun way?

Looking for creative ways to get a laugh? These funny birthday card ideas are quirky and unexpected.

1. Insert money here → [ ] (Just kidding.)
2. Inside: A mirror. Caption: “Your worst nightmare.”
3. Front: “You're one in a million.” Inside: “So are bacteria.”
4. Birthday checklist: Cake? ✔ Balloons? ✔ Dignity? ❌

How do I wish my crazy best friend a happy birthday?

1. Happy Birthday to someone who knows all my secrets and still sticks around.
2. You’re not just a year older, you're a year sassier.
3. Friends don’t let friends age alone, so here I am.
4. We go together like cake and regret.
5. Besties forever, until one of us forgets the other’s birthday.